B Happy

by Brian, July 29, 2013

So many times we dwell on the negatives in life. I didn’t get that job, I didn’t get that role in the play, I didn’t get that promotion, raise…I didn’t get, I don’t have, I want…We put so much energy into complaining about the things we didn’t get and miss out on the wonderful things we already have.

People ask me all the time how I always seem to keep a positive attitude about everything…it’s easy…happiness is a choice. I choose to look on the bright side. I didn’t get that job, but I’m still looking and have some great options. I didn’t get that role in the play, but if I did I wouldn’t have been able to do this other play that opened some doors for me. I don’t have a boyfriend, but I have amazing family and friends that support me. I choose to focus on all the good things in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying just suck it up and deal with the hand you’re dealt. I’m saying you can stack the deck.

“Start with happy and things will begin to happen.”

Like attracts like…Suddenly you are surrounded by happy people and happy people are proven to be more successful because others actually want to help them. Think of that miserable friend of yours (you know the one) that needed help moving to a new apartment. How many people showed up to help?

This American dream of working hard all your life so you can be successful and then be happy is such a lie. At my day job I am surrounded by people that have been working there 10, 15, 20 years and are miserable people. Start with happy. Being happy produces dopamine in your brain which not only makes you seek more happiness, but turns on all the learning centers in your brain making you three times more creative which leads to greater success! No, it’s not easy. You have to train your brain to be happy…just like exercise.

Let’s say you are stuck in a frustrating situation…someone is yelling at you…in a simple math formula you have A the event (in this case the yelling) and C the emotion (how this event affects you.) And what about B? B is your opinion or belief about A. In a situation like this maybe you believe the person is yelling at you because they think you are a terrible employee which causes stress, low self worth, etc. However, if you choose to see the situation a little differently…they are yelling at you because they are getting push-back from the higher ups causing their stress level to skyrocket and they have no one else to take it out on but you…now you feel sorry for them. This doesn’t mean I am justifying the situation, but changing perspective keeps you a happier person. What’s that phrase? Like the water off a duck’s back? Easier said than done, I know, but with practice you can be happier.